It’s been an interesting week in the classical music world, and because I can’t make up my mind what to write about, I’m going to comment on three occurrences – in a format borrowed from a certain liberal TV journalist (Cue Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor).

The first episode of note comes from a city three hours to the south, home of the Oregon Symphony, whose President, Elaine Calder, has decided to withdraw her institution from the League of American Orchestras.

The benefits of membership were outweighed by the annual fee of $17,000, Calder stated in an interview in The Oregonian.  (The League calculates fees as a percentage of budget.  The TSO is a member, but because our budget is so much smaller, our fee is a fraction of the Oregon Symphony’s.)  Ms. Calder noted that they can no longer afford to send staff members to the League’s annual conference; that they don’t even have time to fill out the lengthy surveys the League sends out; and that she is tired of all the dispiriting talk about coming up with “a new model” for the industry.

I must say I’m in sympathy with some of what she says.  I haven’t been to a League conference in some years due to cost, and when I opened up their most recent survey request and beheld its length, my reaction was “you’ve got to be kidding.”

Still, I think membership in the League is like many other things in life:  you get what you give.  It’s not just about paying a fee and receiving a service, it’s an investment in the future of an industry that, if it is to survive, will require all our combined best efforts.  It’s hard for me to believe any thinking orchestra executive could view what is happening in the field today and not conclude that “a new model” is indeed badly needed.  And I wonder why it was necessary to resign in such a public way.

The runner up:  Paypal, the global E-commerce company, which, reports The Toronto Star,  ordered the destruction of a violin acquired in an online sale after rumor arose that the instrument was counterfeit.

A Canadian woman purchased the alleged Maurice Bourguignon violin online for $2,500.   Paypal has confirmed that the woman was asked to shatter the violin due to a company policy requiring the destruction of counterfeit goods.

“I am now out of a violin that made it through WWII as well as $2,500,” the woman wrote in an online post by blogger Helen Killer.  “This is upsetting, but my main goal in writing to you is to prevent PayPal from ordering the destruction of violins and other antiquities that they know nothing about.”

But today’s winner is  Indiana Senator Vaneta Becker, who has submitted a bill that would impose a $25 fine on anyone who fails to follow certain performance standards while performing "The Star-Spangled Banner" at events sponsored by public schools and universities.

"It’s not like we’re going after anyone’s ability to sing," Becker said in an interview Tuesday. "It’s more that we just want them to respect the words and the tune as it was originally intended and we normally sing it."

Certainly many public renderings of our hapless National Anthem -- including 95% of those preceding baseball games -- rise to the level of felonies.  Still, it is not clear from the interview who will set the standards, nor how they will determine when the line has been crossed.  One wonders about the enforcement of such a bill, and the chilling blow to artistic freedom if it were enforced!

I remember attending a concert by Milwaukee's fine new music ensemble, Present Music, that began with a performance of the “Star-Spangled Banner” on the vintage electronic instrument known as the theremin.  What a creative idea that was – I’ve never heard anything like it before or since.  The theremin is a tricky instrument and the player was no virtuoso; the resulting performance would have inspired wrath from Senator Becker.

Other more famous versions abound, both from the pop and classical realms.  The title song in the rock musical Hair contained a memorable quote (O say can you see / my eyes if you can / then my hair's too short)  Jose Feliciano did a slow, bluesy version to lead off the 1968 World Series.  Then there's Jimmy Hendrix’s famous rendering on electric guitar the same year. Marvin Gaye offered a soul version at the 1983 NBA All-Star Game.  

And then there's my personal favorite, Stravinsky’s odd-sounding re-orchestration.  Although (IMHO) a great improvement on the original, few orchestras play it because it sounds strange to unfamiliar ears – and well-meaning but unimaginative people like Senator Becker get offended.

With the possible exception of Hair, I doubt that any of these were intended to be irreverent.  In any case, it is the height of irony to write a bill imposing set standards on the very anthem that extolls America as the “land of the free.”  Senator Becker’s action is more in keeping with certain radical Muslim regimes, or with China during the cultural revolution, or with Soviet suppression of Shostakovich.  What is she thinking?

Senator Vaneta Becker:  today’s worst … person…. In the wo-o-o-o-rld…. (cue swelling of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D minor)